Thursday, May 1, 2014

Mother's Dictionary of Meanings

The following came from the monthly newsletter from Knights of Columbus council 3607 called The Lance.  I thought it was worth posting… enjoy

Mother's Dictionary of Meanings

Dumbwaiter:   One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Feedback:    The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name:   What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents:   The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay:    What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Independent:    How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say.
Puddle:    A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show Off:   A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize:   What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.
Top Bunk:   Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-Minute Warning:   When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar-grunting noises.

Whodunit:   None of the kids that live in your house.

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